June 17, 2008 Update

Hi all, I never sent out last week's so I am combining. This will probably be it for a couple weeks as they say it takes that long before the radiation side effects kick in.

6/17/08
Hey all. Hope this message finds you well.

I met the Radiation oncologist yesterday and his team seems very nice. They took a lot of time with me and I go back Friday for my "fitting" of my helmet/ mask thing and will hopefully start radiation as early as Tuesday.

Last week was a bit surreal. On Sunday 6/8 a co-worker was driving back from Houston seeing her in laws when a truck on the other side of I 45 was going 80 mph and switched lanes, clipped the front fender of a car, spun, hit a culvert, and flew across the grassy median, landing on top of her truck, resulting in the 18 wheeler behind them running over her and her hubby also. She died on impact, husband is on life support, paralyzed and he has had a stroke but still technically alive. Meagan was 29. Was quite a shock to our small company. She was over benefits, insurance, etc so she knew everyone....and your intimate problems, medical conditions, etc. There were more intricacies to this story and the trickle effect it would have in the following week as details come out when someone dies. I will not go into details but it made me ask myself some tough questions about ethics, morals, what our role as a friend, co-worker, boss, even company executive (ok, so I'm a jr. executive but I am on the official email distribution for executives so I am going to use it!!!!!!)

It's interesting. We can sit and know, be certain some things are inexcusable, horrible, hurtful, clearly black and white WRONG. But what is your role when it is someone you care about who has done wrong? Especially if it is too late for them to make things fully right. Some things very sadly you can't take back.

Tangent with me for a few more lines and I promise I'll get to a point....
You know we've all seen people go through breakups and been through them ourselves. One tidbit that always strikes me obviously odd is the question of "I don't know if I still love them?" I have no comprehension of such. Love is never ending. Love is without condition. Would any parent tell their child "I don't love you because you did______?" Of course not. Even if your child murdered someone in cold blood, you would hopefully get them help, but you would be there, with love and support to get them through the bad time and hopefully close to God. It is like that with any relationship......you either love or you do not. I think it is just easier for people to say they stopped loving than to admit they never did or even admit they still do but refuse to work at it. I think this has gotten worse with each generation as divorce increases exponentially. We have a generation of people who have been told by their loved ones that love IS conditional, love CAN end as an explanation for divorce. And we wonder why so many kids are messed up.

So how does that relate. Well, in my opinion, we always have a responsibility to those we care about to be honest, totally honest. If you are a person of conviction, they know where you stand before you even verbalize it in the instance. And then our responsibility to those we love is to be there. Be there to support the person and help them get through, no matter how much you are against the action they have done. A pastor once said the closest we can ever be to Godly is forgiving someone, especially if they don't deserve it, because after all, none of us do.

I went to my co-workers funeral in Houston.

I was scared to #1 travel, that was my first trip since Christmas, not sure what I was afraid of really, just afraid. I was also scared of a funeral. Scared I would totally loose it. But I didn't, i was quite composed and did my duty to be a good friend.

The point of all of that rambling was I think I shocked myself in that I just did my duty, served my role and realized sometimes that is all we are called to do but it can be the hardest thing to do, especially if it is not a favored or popular situation. Sometimes, there is no editorial needed and no words will make the same impact as shutting up but being there, who knew? I also had it reinforced that perspective is everything. Many of you have heard me say before that the only difference between your best friend and worst enemy is that you CHOOSE to accepts the faults of your friends and you CHOOSE to not accept the faults of your enemies/ others. I mean truly, we all have some people we love who might look a bit shady on paper, but alas, love is unconditional.

Song of the week
There's a cross on the side of the roadWhere a mother lost a sonHow could she know that the morning he leftWould be their last time she'd trade with him for a little more timeSo she could say she loved him one more timeAnd hold him tightBut with life we never knowWhen we're coming up to the end of the roadSo what do we do thenWith tragedy around the bend?Chorus:We live we loveWe forgive and never give upCuz the days we are given are gifts from aboveToday we remember to live and to loveWe live we loveWe forgive and never give upCuz the days we are given are gifts from aboveToday we remember to live and to loveThere is a man who waits for the testsTo see if the cancer has spread yetAnd now he asks, "So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?"If I could have the time back how I'd liveLife is such a giftSo how does the story end?Well this is your story and it all dependsSo don't let it become trueGet out and do what we are meant to do