Lessons from Ms. Mature Irving Pagent

You're getting old when.....
You actually pay and attend the Ms. Mature Irving Pagent
You are excited by the free punch and hors d'oevres at intermission
You spend the whole night in pain thinking - grow toe nails out in summer, trim early so they are not crammed into pointed stillettos come Sept., cutting into other toes
You come prepared for the event with a shawl and long sleeves because you get cold in buildings
You are yawning by 9pm and getting testy when the Pagent isn't over by 10
You actually enjoyed the Ms. Mature Irving Pagent but the 2 eighty year olds walking out in front of you say "what a drag that was"

And the top way to tell you are getting old......you realize in less that 20 years you are eligible for the Ms. Mature Irving Pagent

one more

NeedToBreathe singing "Washed By The Water"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CozhYXk5N1I

Amen.

I only write when I feel something

I know it has been forever since I have been on here. I think I was too numb to write anything. But God is faithful, he has been my healer, my comforter, my provider, my miracle worker and I know he will continue to be. I am jobless. I know, I know, who isn't right now. During the "tough economic downturn." God will use this to his glory of this I am sure. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise.

I have added an additional life anthem for this phase of my life. I have an overall life anthem "It's My Life it's now or never..." By Bon Jovi. But I add in others through the phases of my life. Blessed be the Lord was my MRI anthem. God comforted me everytime I thought I couldn't take it anymore, that song would play on KLTY and I would know I could make it through and finish my test. On the days whenI hurt so bad I truly thought dying would be better I sang the below

I'm trading my sorrows i'm trading my shame i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
i'm trading my sickness i'm trading my pain i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord

We say yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord, amen We say yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lordyes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord, amen

i am pressed but not crushed persecuted, but not abandoned struck down, but not destroyed
i am blessed beyond the curse, for His promise will endureand His joy will be my strength though the sorrow may last for the night His joy comes with the morning.
I'm trading my sorrows i'm trading my shame i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
i'm trading my sicknessi'm trading my pain i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
We say yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord, amenWe say yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lordyes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lordyes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord, amen

i am pressed but not crushed, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed
i am blessed beyond the curse,for His joy comes with the morning.
I'm trading my sorrows i'm trading my shame i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
i'm trading my sickness i'm trading my pain i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord


My new anthem is below

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go I promise there is hope
Hold fast Help is on the way
Hold fast He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife Is His grasp So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last? Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through But if you only hear one thing Just understand that we are all the same Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face Unless someone comes to take our place Is there anyone? All we want is to be free Free from our captivity, Lord Here He comes

Other song I am currently loving are When I finally make it home by Mercy Me/ Brad Paisley's when I get where I'm going is a tad better, same premis. I am also loving NeedToBreathe...everything they do but especially Lay 'em Down. (referring to our burdens). Listen to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1QMmWlOmEQ

I guess that's enough rambling for one day. God bless all who visit.

Good Friday

Well it has been quite some time since I updated this. I am really not sure why it hit me to do so now but I am. I did get the chemo port removed 2 weeks ago. It still feels like it is there just because of the scar tissue. It feels like a knot but oh well.

I am not going home for Easter just because it has been so busy at work but I am a tad sad to be alone for the holiday.

I am also de-materializing my life. I am moving to a smaller place and getting rid of the excess furniture, books, clothes, just general stuff we hold onto. It is really quite absurd when you think of it. All the things we fill our homes with.

God bless and Happy Resurrection Day.

January 16, 2009 - Do I Eat Cake?

So one year ago today I had brain surgery and was told I had cancer. Brain cancer of some sort yet to be determined at the time. I'm not sure what you do to for such a thing a year later. Is it an anniversary? Kami asked if I feel victorious. I guess so. I answered that I feel surreal. Victorious is how I would feel after climbing Mt. Everest. All of this just happened to me. The outcome was God so he is victorious but he is always victorious. I dunno, do I acknowledge today? What do you do to really celebrate your life? To me it is to live everyday with integrity and honor of God for giving me one more day. To live a life useful and praiseful to him. I do not know God's plans for me but of this I am sure, for each day I am here I want it to not be in vain or focussed on things lacking eternal significance.
So alas, there was no cake, no balloons, or flowers. Just a call from a sister and best friend. The doctors count me "cancer free" (they will not use "remission" with me because my cancer is guaranteed to come back or some medical foolishness reason) as of 11/11/2008 because that was the post treatment appointment.
That's all for now.

Jan. 8 2009

Fear paralyzes and robs us of joy


So I have had this fear that only a few close friends know about. And even as I type that I realize aside from maybe 2 people everyone I am thinking of is my staff. My staff is awesome. I don't stop to thank God for them often enough so I am going to do so now while I am thinking about it. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise.

Ok, so anyway......
I have been deathly afraid to step on a dance floor for fear I'd get dizzy, get light-headed, something. I faced my fear tonight. Even after my friend had to work and could not go, I went to dance class, by myself, and I feel exhilarated. (I figured if I was going to get dizzy or something, the local dance class was better than a true dance floor). I met wonderfully nice people. I may be a weak, scaredy-cat, frail lady, but thankfully my daddy is creator of the universe and Lord of all. I have nothing to fear but my own ignorance and hesitation.

Jan. 8 2009

God has a sense of humor.

So my daily prayer is that "God close every door he doesn't want me go through." Lately that has been targeted specifically at my home search. And on several occaisions we have literally, not been able to get through the door for various and usundry reasons to see the places. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise. Blessed be the name of the Lord!