I've been shrank

Yes, alas dear ones, I did it, I went to a shrink. And I must confess, I accidently referred to him as such in my session. He chuckled and waived his hand and said it's fine.

I like him, he asked a lot of questions because, well, let's face it, we had loads of foundation issues he needed to know to get started. But he didn't do any of that foolish stuff you always hear about. Someone today told me that is the difference in a psychiatrist versus a psychologist. A Psychiatrist can actually tell you what to do, make diagnosis, etc. So he is worth the extra cash if just for that. If he was just going to sit there and not give advice, I had predecided I'd just keep Chad on speed dial. He has done a good job counseling me for 20 years, and he is free.

So I go back in 2 weeks for session 2 and we will start work now that all foundation work has been done.

And for Patricia's sake I'll note. He sees no signs of depression, I seem to have found a good coping mechanism that got me through cancer, but now we have to work on life with long term healthy coping skills to address the "when will it come back" fear all cancer survivors live with which he pegged very on target would be hard for an organized, planner, always in control person like me. He said if we can get past this core problem, it is also the core of my workaholic issues so I can hopefully kill 2 birds with one stone, woooohoooo. Well, or one medical bill.


Other horrors to ponder.
So our company has lost 3 employees since March (1 was technically a consultant but essentially an employee). All were immediate, unexpected, and horribly tragic. So tomorrow I will go to another memorial service. It is all perplexing. Life is precious. I get it, I get it already. But what dear Lord should I be doing? Do we all go through life continually asking this question? Do some people get some nice definitive answer and live their whole life in peace as school teachers or accountants or nurses or whatever knowing their answer?

Another good quote

"Tears are the comfort of a common woman, pretty women go shopping."

ZACH is back

That's right, for all you Saved by the Bell Junkies Mark Paul Gosselaar is back on a new show with long hair. Look for "Raising the Bar" on TNT in Sept.

Quotes to ponder

"Women and sausage, if you want to enjoy either, do not watch in the preparation process."




"There are 2 great tragedies in life, not getting what you want and getting what you want, the latter is the greater of the 2."

Miscellaneous tidbits and advice from someone who knows nothing

So I have given this lecture to a few friends but feel the need to push it out to the masses.

If you do not have life insurance outside of your employer, get it. Get it today. Do not wait to call tomorrow. Most of my friends reading this are young and have great jobs, but once you get a serious illness it is impossible to get personal insurance and if you get too ill to keep your job, you loose insurance and are left with nothing. Now there are various schools of thought on this such as investing in various ways. And I would agree property is probably the wisest way to go but the one that takes the most knowledge and research. Traditional investing in the markets would be second choice but for those without the time or knack, at least call up State Farm and make sure you have a back up plan. Once you are ill, it's too late.

I also encourage supplemental insurance. Most are familiar with Aflac. For years I had supplemental insurance with a different company but same basic concept. I lost it when I left West and never replaced it. HUGE mistake. I thought I had time. That one time payout of $50,000 for cancer would have been nice and relieved immense stress. But alas, it is what it is. There are special policies you can buy just for cancer or severe illnesses such as a heart attack, stroke, etc. Look into it. We have to do these things before we need them because once you need them, it's too late.

And finally, forgive everyone. All negativity eats at your heart and soul and does no good in the end. No one deserves forgivenes, none of us, so forgive those who you don't think deserve it either and remember, you've been forgiven when you didn't deserve it either.

Finally. Make your days purposeful. Oddly enough I've had several friends this week with relationship issues and at the root, they all have the same problem....they are afraid to get rid of the person in their life for fear they will not find someone else. One even actually said "lots of people settle, maybe I should." How sad is that? Life is too short. Never settle!!!!!! It is also terribly unfair to the other person. At the bare minimum, everyone deserves to be with someone who truly wants to be with them; not just someone is hanging out until they find someone better. And besides, when you settle, you will end up finding your soul mate down the road after you've already made a committment, and that's just sad and torturous despite all of the spiritual and christian responsibilities that are involved.

God has a plan for each of us but we have to be strong enough to walk away from the easy to have room for the wonderful. One friend said it this way "you have to create a vacuum for something to be able to fill it." I think that is true.

Irony abounds

So as I am coming out of whole foods, yes, I have succumed to the whole foods/ organic/ probiotic I am a cancer survivor but must consume capsulated red lettuce and cranberry concentrate to ensure my body stays oxygenated and alkaline so no more cancer can come back.

So anyway......after shopping at the hippie, greenpeace recruiting, PETA loving, tree hugging, yuppie snob shop, I, walking to my car and see some mom with her 2 teens in their 2 inches of material I think they were using as skirts to show off their spray on tan, I noticed Mom was inhaling a cigarette as she loaded the Lexus SUV with overpriced bottled water and organic grocery bags. Maybe I am horrible but I had to laugh out loud and shake my head as I loaded in my bag of vitamins from the list of everything I was needing to cover. Tcells, Immunity, alkaline body, antioxidants.

I will also take this time to plug Limu. It is wonder juice from the Tonga that my dear friends Amanda's dad sent me. Unfortunately I already had cancer before I started taking it but if my cancer never returns I will gladly give Mr. Steve and the Limu full credit.

If you want more information, let me know and I'll connect you so you too can have Limu. Feel free to google it. There are lots of studies, it supposed to get good stuff.

Hello, my name is Vi, I am not Wonder Woman

So Monday I told one of my doctors (because evidently not only does it take a village to raise a child but also to treat cancer) that I was ready to admit I might not be wonder woman as I have been telling them through all of this I needed time off work to rest a bit. He chuckled and said that they had been waiting for me to crash but he admitted I far exceeded every doctor, nurse and technician on my team's expectations. SO I took of 7/30 - 8/10.

Everyone told me it was an unexplainable fatigue, I got it last weekend. When my quick trip to get a couple of food items since I was going to have a guest who might want more than my ice cream beverage collection to exist on took 2 hours. I got to the checkout and was floored. I knew I was moving slow but man.......2 hours, that's normally a leisurely 6 mile walk. And then I came home and napped. LOL. So alas, it was time.

Today is 8/1/08 and yesterday was my last treatment. My dear friend Mike is here en route to visit his grandma and we have a day o' celebration planned.

Now I have to take care of all the other "stuff" that I wasn't allowed to focus on during treatment. Like dental appts, gyno visit, eye dr. Next scan in about 2 months and we wait 6 months to determine if I have to get thyroid removed from radiation damage.

More to come.