So one year ago today I had brain surgery and was told I had cancer. Brain cancer of some sort yet to be determined at the time. I'm not sure what you do to for such a thing a year later. Is it an anniversary? Kami asked if I feel victorious. I guess so. I answered that I feel surreal. Victorious is how I would feel after climbing Mt. Everest. All of this just happened to me. The outcome was God so he is victorious but he is always victorious. I dunno, do I acknowledge today? What do you do to really celebrate your life? To me it is to live everyday with integrity and honor of God for giving me one more day. To live a life useful and praiseful to him. I do not know God's plans for me but of this I am sure, for each day I am here I want it to not be in vain or focussed on things lacking eternal significance.
So alas, there was no cake, no balloons, or flowers. Just a call from a sister and best friend. The doctors count me "cancer free" (they will not use "remission" with me because my cancer is guaranteed to come back or some medical foolishness reason) as of 11/11/2008 because that was the post treatment appointment.
That's all for now.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Jan. 8 2009
Fear paralyzes and robs us of joy
So I have had this fear that only a few close friends know about. And even as I type that I realize aside from maybe 2 people everyone I am thinking of is my staff. My staff is awesome. I don't stop to thank God for them often enough so I am going to do so now while I am thinking about it. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise.
Ok, so anyway......
I have been deathly afraid to step on a dance floor for fear I'd get dizzy, get light-headed, something. I faced my fear tonight. Even after my friend had to work and could not go, I went to dance class, by myself, and I feel exhilarated. (I figured if I was going to get dizzy or something, the local dance class was better than a true dance floor). I met wonderfully nice people. I may be a weak, scaredy-cat, frail lady, but thankfully my daddy is creator of the universe and Lord of all. I have nothing to fear but my own ignorance and hesitation.
So I have had this fear that only a few close friends know about. And even as I type that I realize aside from maybe 2 people everyone I am thinking of is my staff. My staff is awesome. I don't stop to thank God for them often enough so I am going to do so now while I am thinking about it. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise.
Ok, so anyway......
I have been deathly afraid to step on a dance floor for fear I'd get dizzy, get light-headed, something. I faced my fear tonight. Even after my friend had to work and could not go, I went to dance class, by myself, and I feel exhilarated. (I figured if I was going to get dizzy or something, the local dance class was better than a true dance floor). I met wonderfully nice people. I may be a weak, scaredy-cat, frail lady, but thankfully my daddy is creator of the universe and Lord of all. I have nothing to fear but my own ignorance and hesitation.
Jan. 8 2009
God has a sense of humor.
So my daily prayer is that "God close every door he doesn't want me go through." Lately that has been targeted specifically at my home search. And on several occaisions we have literally, not been able to get through the door for various and usundry reasons to see the places. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
So my daily prayer is that "God close every door he doesn't want me go through." Lately that has been targeted specifically at my home search. And on several occaisions we have literally, not been able to get through the door for various and usundry reasons to see the places. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
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