Lessons from Ms. Mature Irving Pagent

You're getting old when.....
You actually pay and attend the Ms. Mature Irving Pagent
You are excited by the free punch and hors d'oevres at intermission
You spend the whole night in pain thinking - grow toe nails out in summer, trim early so they are not crammed into pointed stillettos come Sept., cutting into other toes
You come prepared for the event with a shawl and long sleeves because you get cold in buildings
You are yawning by 9pm and getting testy when the Pagent isn't over by 10
You actually enjoyed the Ms. Mature Irving Pagent but the 2 eighty year olds walking out in front of you say "what a drag that was"

And the top way to tell you are getting old......you realize in less that 20 years you are eligible for the Ms. Mature Irving Pagent