Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Nov 11, 2008
I am good for another 3 months or 3, ooo miles. MRI looked "really good" per my hi priced radiation oncologist and then he said farewell to me. I can never have radiation again (evidently there is a lifetime maximum) so I go to my Neurological Oncologist from now on. I am going to post a couple recent pics for the fam.
It is a bit surreal to live 3 months to 3 months, that is still sinking in. I asked him how often we would have to keep checking my thyroid and he said forever. I asked about MRI's and he said every 3 months for a few yrs then perhaps every 4, etc. I stopped asking questions.
Thanks for all the prayers. I have amazing friends. One who spent several hours on the phone last night just listening to me cry.
It doesn't get easier. The sitting there, waiting, waiting to go in and here the results. I don't want niceties, or bedside manner, or even questions on how I am feeling. He should meet me at the door with a "everything is great" or "I am sorry." Just let me know immediately. I only had to wait 45 minutes from when the scan was finished until my exam but they don't realize, I have been worried about this for 3 months. I'll be worried for the next 3 months. I don't know when it gets easier. When do I stop feeling like I have a 3 month potential sentencing date? I don't even know what to pray for any more. How do people live like this?
It is a bit surreal to live 3 months to 3 months, that is still sinking in. I asked him how often we would have to keep checking my thyroid and he said forever. I asked about MRI's and he said every 3 months for a few yrs then perhaps every 4, etc. I stopped asking questions.
Thanks for all the prayers. I have amazing friends. One who spent several hours on the phone last night just listening to me cry.
It doesn't get easier. The sitting there, waiting, waiting to go in and here the results. I don't want niceties, or bedside manner, or even questions on how I am feeling. He should meet me at the door with a "everything is great" or "I am sorry." Just let me know immediately. I only had to wait 45 minutes from when the scan was finished until my exam but they don't realize, I have been worried about this for 3 months. I'll be worried for the next 3 months. I don't know when it gets easier. When do I stop feeling like I have a 3 month potential sentencing date? I don't even know what to pray for any more. How do people live like this?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
November 8, 2008
It has been quite some time since I posted. I have been busy trying to live life, not write about it. So the shrink said I didn't need to see him after the second session. Who knew? I'm too well adjusted for a shrink even post cancer. He did say he could provide that in writing to any family members in doubt.
The eyes are good, no cancer spread there per last week's appointment. Praise be to God. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise.
The teeth are much better than expected. My dentist is great and had a whole program worked out for me from his reports from my oncologist, since I've been living the life of a bulimic since January. Some things I am going to need to do for, well, probably for life to keep my teeth healthy.
My family Dr. still calls to check in, he is a true gem. My Chiropractor is still helping me with pain management via acu-pressure. (not puncture, he uses a "zapper" as I call it not needles)
The first thyroid check looked good, final check is Feb. (full brain radiation can cause the pituitary gland to die and thus require the thyroid to have to come out) And my anemia is getting better. I have been fighting allergies and sinus probs for about 6 weeks.
The big MRI and exam is Tuesday. I had to wait for a certain amount of time for all the radiation to wear off before they could do any scans or xrays of my eyes, teeth, and now my brain, so now here we go.
I think it is ironic my appt. is on Veteran's day. I have great respect for our military so I mean no disrespect but I feel like I've been through a war this year. I can't believe it is November and I am still dealing with this stuff. I don't know how long I thought cancer battles lasted but I'm doing well. I have been cancer free since Feb. yet it is still a daily battle of not being able to sleep or being tired all day, of body fatigue, nausea, an esophagus lining that has been worn away from excessive acid. And those are the things I am willing to post publicly. I am not complaining but I include this only because a couple friends said all of my posts have not been fully, bluntly honest and if my purpose was to minister to someone else going through this, I should include a bit more reality so they will know what to expect.
My eyelashes are back, woohoo! Eyebrows are getting there. I never fully lost my eyebrows, which is good. I hate when people draw lines for eyebrows. My head.....well, they told me it would be end of the year before I could expect that to even start so, still in wigs. I'll probably be in wigs for another year, sighhhhhh. I need to put up a new pic. My friend gave me a short bob wig and it looks awesome on me, better than any that I had bought so I've been wearing it.
I'll post after Tuesday with an update when I have results.
May God bless and keep you all as he has me.
The eyes are good, no cancer spread there per last week's appointment. Praise be to God. For every blessing he pours out I will turn back to praise.
The teeth are much better than expected. My dentist is great and had a whole program worked out for me from his reports from my oncologist, since I've been living the life of a bulimic since January. Some things I am going to need to do for, well, probably for life to keep my teeth healthy.
My family Dr. still calls to check in, he is a true gem. My Chiropractor is still helping me with pain management via acu-pressure. (not puncture, he uses a "zapper" as I call it not needles)
The first thyroid check looked good, final check is Feb. (full brain radiation can cause the pituitary gland to die and thus require the thyroid to have to come out) And my anemia is getting better. I have been fighting allergies and sinus probs for about 6 weeks.
The big MRI and exam is Tuesday. I had to wait for a certain amount of time for all the radiation to wear off before they could do any scans or xrays of my eyes, teeth, and now my brain, so now here we go.
I think it is ironic my appt. is on Veteran's day. I have great respect for our military so I mean no disrespect but I feel like I've been through a war this year. I can't believe it is November and I am still dealing with this stuff. I don't know how long I thought cancer battles lasted but I'm doing well. I have been cancer free since Feb. yet it is still a daily battle of not being able to sleep or being tired all day, of body fatigue, nausea, an esophagus lining that has been worn away from excessive acid. And those are the things I am willing to post publicly. I am not complaining but I include this only because a couple friends said all of my posts have not been fully, bluntly honest and if my purpose was to minister to someone else going through this, I should include a bit more reality so they will know what to expect.
My eyelashes are back, woohoo! Eyebrows are getting there. I never fully lost my eyebrows, which is good. I hate when people draw lines for eyebrows. My head.....well, they told me it would be end of the year before I could expect that to even start so, still in wigs. I'll probably be in wigs for another year, sighhhhhh. I need to put up a new pic. My friend gave me a short bob wig and it looks awesome on me, better than any that I had bought so I've been wearing it.
I'll post after Tuesday with an update when I have results.
May God bless and keep you all as he has me.
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