I've been shrank

Yes, alas dear ones, I did it, I went to a shrink. And I must confess, I accidently referred to him as such in my session. He chuckled and waived his hand and said it's fine.

I like him, he asked a lot of questions because, well, let's face it, we had loads of foundation issues he needed to know to get started. But he didn't do any of that foolish stuff you always hear about. Someone today told me that is the difference in a psychiatrist versus a psychologist. A Psychiatrist can actually tell you what to do, make diagnosis, etc. So he is worth the extra cash if just for that. If he was just going to sit there and not give advice, I had predecided I'd just keep Chad on speed dial. He has done a good job counseling me for 20 years, and he is free.

So I go back in 2 weeks for session 2 and we will start work now that all foundation work has been done.

And for Patricia's sake I'll note. He sees no signs of depression, I seem to have found a good coping mechanism that got me through cancer, but now we have to work on life with long term healthy coping skills to address the "when will it come back" fear all cancer survivors live with which he pegged very on target would be hard for an organized, planner, always in control person like me. He said if we can get past this core problem, it is also the core of my workaholic issues so I can hopefully kill 2 birds with one stone, woooohoooo. Well, or one medical bill.


Other horrors to ponder.
So our company has lost 3 employees since March (1 was technically a consultant but essentially an employee). All were immediate, unexpected, and horribly tragic. So tomorrow I will go to another memorial service. It is all perplexing. Life is precious. I get it, I get it already. But what dear Lord should I be doing? Do we all go through life continually asking this question? Do some people get some nice definitive answer and live their whole life in peace as school teachers or accountants or nurses or whatever knowing their answer?